Can Sex and Politics Mix?

What if sex was the only draw in a relationship? What if one of the actors exposes his or her opinion that completely alienates the other? Would sex be enough to continue the relationship? Beware of the following, because I probably will break many taboos while writing this. The hypothetical situation I am postulating can happen to anyone.

A woman in her sixties meets a man, also in his sixties, over the Internet. Neither of them are looking for a roommate or marriage. What they want is fun, as defined by random sexual interludes. Suppose this affair goes on for over a year, enjoying the best sex either one of them have had in a long time, if ever. This goes on because they realize that sex in their sixties can be maintained and enjoyed with the added implementation of toys. Toys can stimulate and excite when the physical sixties body can’t always perform. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re dead.

So what is the conflict in this story? For one, it’s the meeting of the minds. If the woman is liberal and believes in equality, common sense, intelligence, learning, and benefits for all realizes that the man she has been seeing for physical enjoyment is not only caring, understanding, and the perfect lover, but is also the total opposite in political and social views. She is shocked, because this is not what she expected. But he doesn’t read. At all. Nothing. So he bases his opinion on the charlatans who spew hatred and lies and contortions over the airways without any basis in fact and whose only interest is making a ton of money.

Therefore, any thoughts about exploring a more expansive relationship that might include dating, dinners, and introduction to friends and family are dashed. She even thinks about not seeing him again – ever. For anything. She is shocked speechless when she hears how he really thinks and what he believes. He is an alien. His narrow mindedness, his prejudice, his simplification and distortion of facts ruins the relationship for her.

Even the best sex in the world cannot sustain a relationship that is on a collision course with respect for the other’s beliefs, even when they care about each other within the tight confines of a sexual affair.

So the question becomes: is physical pleasure enough of a reason to keep seeing a man who opinion she hates?


Looking Back At Youth Without Judging

Almost a year has gone by since I last posted. At the time I was still online with dating services. Why? Because I’m not dead yet.

Part of me in still in love with the Sixties because I was young, looking for adventure, sexual and otherwise, seeking to discover my potential in all aspects of my life – artistic, my relationships, my capabilities and knowing how far I can go, seeking to expand beyond myself. Don’t we all do that? Well, some of us do. Some of us refuse to let hypocrisy, judgmental outsiders, and fear hold us back.  

I am a writer; therefore, I seek. We don’t always find the answers we want. So we ask different questions. We keep asking questions – questions about our beliefs, our judgments, what and who we love, and why. That is the hardest question, Why?

Writing about Erin in The Flawed Dance took me back to the Sixties and the Seventies. One agent recently told me he couldn’t sell a book set in the Sixties. But Erin’s story cannot be told in any other era, I don’t think. Maybe I’m wrong. I set the stage in an era in which I lived, in a time and place that still lives with me, because the past makes you who you are. Erin’s story could be mine. It’s about what each of us is capable of and how we adjust or not adjust to that truth. We are two sides of the coin of good and evil. Erin discovers this and it haunts her, almost destroys her. Our mind plays tricks on us, lets us see as life really is or it can show us in distortions.

I look at my grandsons and I can see the mistakes they are making. I judge them, because I can relate and I can sit back, now that I’m in my sixties, and remember. I can’t change them. They have to discover life on their own, push the boundaries, ask questions, find answers.

Damn, that’s hard. We want to live vicariously through our children – until we see the pain they are going through. You want to change them, remold them, help them. But we can’t.

It’s easier and harder to look back on the past, relive, readjust, remake into fiction, make it a story. That story became The Flawed Dance.